Still not an Astros believer

After a weak start, the Astros rebounded Tuesday night and are 1-1, which is good enough for a share of first place in the NL Cental. So maybe this season can still be salvaged after all?
I tried staying optimistic going into opening day, but the wind in my sails was sucked dry within the first minute of the season.
Roy Oswalt's second pitch of Monday night was absolutely destroyed by Alfonso Soriano.



(As a sidenote, DON'T THROW SORIANO FASTBALLS. Same rule of thumb was used against Pedro Cerrano in the movie Major League. He could not hit a curve ball and because of that he was demoted to a role as president in some TV series and now he sells insurance for State Farm.)
I was devastated by Soriano's homer. The little hamsters operating my brain went to work immediately because I was hoping to find out how many home runs Oswalt and the team were on pace to give up if every other pitch left the yard. Before I could do the math, the second inning started with a first pitch homer by Aramis Ramirez.
At that point, I had to start breathing into an Astros souvenir bag. I've seen people do this before, hoping to avoid panic attacks.
Anyway, the Astros only lost 4-2. Oswalt ended up doing okay but the team hardly looked promising. I was thinking if the Cubs got to Oswalt that easily, what will the rest of our rotation do?
Pudge Rodriguez looked awful in the first game. Hunter Pence was just as bad at the plate. Houston had zero extra base hits. There were baserunning errors and coaching blunders. It just looked like the start of a long spring and even longer summer for the Astros.
But then they battled Chicago to a walk-off, 3-2, 10-inning victory, which featured a solid outing from Wandy Rodriguez, a homer by Pence, a hit from Pudge and a game-winning pinch hit from Jeff Keppinger. (As a sidenote, Houston was up 2-1 through seven innings but Latroy Hawkins threw SORIANO A FASTBALL in the eighth inning that tied the game at 2-2. DON'T THROW SORIANO FASTBALLS!)
My expectations for this season?
I have none. I try to stay even keel with everything in life. I was the same way in school. That's why I never studied for tests. Without studying, I found, that I was never disappointed with whatever grade I got. Same thing applies here. If I build up hope for the Astros 2009 season, there is a great chance I will have to deal with a lot of emotional baggage later this summer.
A former professor of mine, who thinks I am an idiot 99 percent of the time, did agree with me on this issue of hopes and dreams regarding teams you love.
For instance, he and I pretend the Astros don't exist. When we want to talk about said nonexistent team, we use code words such as "the team that plays in the big city 90 miles to our west."
What do I really think about the 2009 Astros?
I think Houston has a spotty lineup, a questionable starting rotation and a solid bullpen. My hamsters have not completely passed judgment on the starting rotation, but they are pretty annoyed about the prospects of Geoff Blum being a regular starter all season. Houston is one of the only Major League teams that constantly tries to convert average bench players into every day starters. It bothers me tremendously and he spells Jeff wrong.
The Astros lineup has some solid hitters but I'm not sold on Cecil Cooper's starting order. Pence usually can't hit anything but an inside fastball and Cooper has him in the seventh hole where he will rarely get a decent pitch to hit. Pence has good power and speed, and the only place in the order where he will get a larger dose of heaters is near the top. I say put Pence in the second spot and move Pudge down to six. And for the love of all things sacred, move Blum to seventh. I know Cooper wants a lefty after Carlos Lee and Miguel Tejada. I know Blum is 3-for-7 so far this season. I also know Michael Bourn has three hits and two RBIs. But more than likely both of those guys are going to struggle to hit .250.
I don't have as much a problem with Bourn because he is fast and whatever offense he can give us is a bonus. For Houston to be a serious contender, however, a legit third baseman has to be found. Keppinger and Blum are bench guys and will be great for the team starting on the bench and not on the field. (As a sidenote, I would probably like Blum more if he had not hit that go-ahead homer for the White Sox in Game 3 of the 2005 World Series against the Astros. And unless he does the same for Houston, I will not forgive him. I'm sure he is a great guy though.)
Rest of my thoughts on the Astros:
Baseball is a great sport. It's my favorite. You don't always have to be the fastest and the strongest to be good, which means Houston could be a contender with the players it has now. But I'm not going to get excited. (As a sidenote, DON'T THROW SORIANO FASTBALLS! Throw him sliders,splitfingers, curveballs, screwballs, golfballs, boudin balls, malt balls and anything else. Just don't throw him FASTBALLS!)