Wednesday, March 25, 2009

No Cinderellas but perhaps a crocodile in Detroit

The NCAA basketball tournament has been a drag so far. Twelve seed Arizona is the only Cinderella team and there is nothing Cinderella about Arizona. The Wildcats are a Pacific-10 Conference team with NCAA championship history and a well known university.
Come to think of it, Cinderella's story isn't so Cinderella. She was attractive and lived in a palace. Her only flaws were hanging out with mice and that she was mistreated by rich, ugly people. It would have made more sense if Cinderella was ugly and poor. Speaking of ugly and poor, those are the best adjectives to describe my bracket, which I set on fire in the middle of the first game last Thursday.
Even with my disappointments, I know there were some quality games in the first two rounds and some top seeds saw some scares. And there was Dayton, Western Kentucky, Wisconsin and Cleveland State, which was the only real upset winner (over Wake Forest) in my opinion, but Cleveland State lost in the second round to Arizona, leaving the bracket without a compelling underdog story.
However, all the 1-3 seeds have advanced for the first time in the history of the tournament and in the South and East portions of the bracket 1-4 have all advanced. Meanwhile, the West Region features 1,2,3 and 5 seeds and the Midwest Region has 1,2,3 and 12 seeds shooting for the Elite Eight.
The Sweet 16 tips off Thursday night on CBS, which means there will be no Survivor, which is great because I hate that show. I actually gave it a try last fall because Thursday nights are one of the only nights I watch television and Survivor just happened to be on. I got sucked in a few times before I determined that I really hated it because it really doesn't seem like surviving to me. I mean, they were in Africa and not one person was eaten by a crocodile, which got me thinking about the show and why Survivor has never been in the United States.
I told a friend it would be interesting if they put Survivor in Detroit. Contestants would be homeless and forced to live in areas with the highest crime rate. And to spice things up, CBS could throw in some crocodiles to make up for the ones that were not in Africa.
This is all relative because Detroit is hosting the Final Four this year and if my Final Four can "survive" this weekend, I am still very much alive to win at least one or two of the five pools I am participating in.
I have Gonzaga, PITT, Louisville and Memphis with PITT to win it all, but for several reasons, I'm worried all four of my teams are going down this weekend.

Michigan State and Kansas are two reasons I am worried about Louisville. Villanova is the reason I am concerned about PITT. North Carolina and Oklahoma are way better than Gonzaga. That leaves Memphis, which is the only team in my Final Four that I still have hope for.
And the fact that I have hope for the Tigers is the very reason I am worried about them. I am the worst prognosticator ever. I'm not sure I have ever won a bet, even simple ones like last fall when I bet a friend that one of the Survivor contestants would be eaten by a crocodile.
Honestly, they were playing in a lake in the middle of Africa and not one croc surfaced?
What are the odds?

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The brackets of Cawley, Elam, Canizales, Pastorella...and Obama.

Yes, the real President Barack Obama's NCAA Tourmanet bracket.

KFDM's Alex Cawley, KBTV's Nik Canizales, KBMT's Ashley Elam and The Port Arthur News' Cody Pastorella, moderator of the Rounding Third blog, got together Wednesday afternoon at Buffalo Wild Wings in Port Arthur to discuss a little bracketology.

Here are the brackets they came up with:


Cody Pastorella, Sports Writer, Port Arthur News




Ashley Elam, Sports Anchor, ABC,NBC — KBMT 12




Alex Cawley, Sports Anchor, CBS — KFDM 6




Nick Canizales, Sports Anchor, Fox — KBTV 4




Barack Obama, President of the United States




...and a last minute addition to the fray...

...Mike Tobias, photographer/writer, Port Arthur News


Wednesday, March 18, 2009

What's your Final Four looking like?

We are less than 24 hours away from tipping off the greatest four weeks in the sports year and more specifically the greatest four days. Opening weekend of March Madness is unbelievably fantastic and here are some reasons why.

No. 1: Gus Johnson. He is a sportscaster for CBS who has the ability to change the course of a team's season just by the tone in his voice. Regardless of what is happening in the game he is covering, sometime in the second half, Johnson starts screaming, which causes a run by the losing team. The underdog could be down by 40 with three minutes left. If Johnson gets excited (and he will) look out.

Gus Johnson is so important to March Madness that I will not fill out any portion of my bracket until I find out which games he will be covering. This year, he will start out in the Midwest Region. He will be in Minneapolis, Minn. so expect Kansas or Michigan State to be upset by the second round.

I have West Virginia going to the Elite Eight where it will face Louisville. Louisville will beat Morehead State and then Ohio State to get to the Sweet 16 and that gets us to my second reason for loving March Madness.

No. 2: Bracketology or the study of brackets or in my case, the ever-changing formula I makeup in the process of filling out my brackets each year. For me, bracketology starts with Gus Johnson. Then I look at records. I dismiss teams with less than 22 wins and teams going into the tournament with any kind of a losing streak. I use anything from where the games will be played, what state a team is from, program history, and so on and so forth. I even look to music for bracket help.
I once heard a country song that claimed there is no Arizona. I have never been to Arizona so I believe it's true, which means all Arizona teams are out and no team playing in the West Region (played in Glendale, Ariz.) will win the championship.

I come up with new and useful methods every year. For instance, I had a very welcoming layover flight in Utah last summer while coming home from a wedding in Idaho where I met a girl who goes to school in Oregon, which means I have advanced all teams from Utah and Oregon to the second round and it also means Gonzaga should have the upper hand against North Carolina in the Sweet 16 since Gonzaga starts its tournament in Portland.

I have Portland State beating Xavier, Utah beating Arizona, Utah State beating Marquette and I fully expect BYU to clobber Texas A&M. Furthermore, I have BYU knocking off Connecticut in the second round and then I have the Cougars advancing (past Purdue) to the Elite Eight where it will meet Memphis or Missouri. I have to decide on that game but I'm leaning toward Missouri for two reasons. The first is because I have a good friend who went to graduate school at Missouri and the second reason is because Missouri has a nice abbreviation that makes writing on the small lines easier (MIZZU). Other examples include Zaga (Gonzaga), PITT (Pittsburgh) and Nova (Villanova).

And if you have ever had Novrosky's Nova Chips, you'll understand why I have Villanova advancing past UCLA. However, I think Duke is due and is coming on strong, so Nova's run will end at the Sweet 16. That said, PITT will breeze through Duke to the Final Four. The Panthers should have no trouble with Tennessee, Wisconsin or the Blue Devils.

In the South Region, I wanted to go with Syracuse but the Orange has burned me before so I have Oklahoma beating Morgan State then Michigan and then Syracuse on the way to the Elite Eight where the Sooners will square off with Gonzaga. I have Zaga moving onto the Final Four because I don't like teams with two letter abbreviations (OU).

To recap, I have MIZZU playing Louisville and PITT playing Zaga in the Final Four. Despite my abbreviations rule, I have Louisville topping the Tigers based on my appreciation for Louisville Sluggers when I was kid. On the other side, I have PITT knocking off Gonzaga because its program has never been to a Final Four and if it is to make it that far, the Bulldogs would likely crumble just as Adam Morrison did against UCLA in 2006. I don't believe in crying and because he did, I will never give my full support to the Zags.

That leaves PITT and Louisville in the championship game. I chose Pittsburgh for two reasons. The first reason is because the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Cardinals, which is the mascot of Louisville, in the Super Bowl. The second reason is because I reenforced the abbreviations rule (Louisville does not have one I like) and then decided to insert the "teams with the No. 1 overall ranking rarely wins the championship" rule.

Now that school is out, we can move on to my third reason for loving March Madness.

No. 3: Reasons No. 1 and No. 2 are so great that I don't have to continue writing this blog.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Releasing TO was a big mistake

Alright, here is the deal about releasing Terrell Owens — it was a horrible idea. I've pondered the issue for more than a week. I've meditated and have sought guidance from several sources, but I cannot justify his release.
He made up more than 50 percent of Dallas' passing game. On the math I'm making up for the purpose of this blog, TO was responsible for almost as much of the passing game as Tony Romo.
Basically, the team had 160 percent of the passing. When broken down, TO caught 50 percent while Romo threw for just 80 percent. That's just a difference of 30 percent, which is what Brad Johnson and the maggot receivers not named TO (also not counting Roy Williams) came up with.
If you are not confused yet, read those last few sentences again.
If you are confused, what all those numbers mean is that Tony Romo should have got the walking papers instead of TO.
I know you naysayers are ready to set your computers on fire for the blasphemy I am preaching right now, but I'm sorry, you're all just wrong on this issue.
TO is not that big of a monster. He is just confused on how to annunciate post game thoughts. Yes, he is ridiculous and outlandish most of the time. But more than often, I think he is simply misunderstood.
I mean, you never hear the guy gripe when the team wins. I recall one game this past season when he caught four passes. The Cowboys won. He was happy. On one Dallas score, TO was busting his hump down the field to throw blocks. He is a team-player who just wants to win.
I also recall a Cowboys loss where Owens had 17 passes thrown his direction. In the post game interview, he said the team lost because he didn't get the ball enough. Obviously that was not the reason Dallas loss that game and as teammates that is frustrating to hear.
But these teammates are grown men and know how TO is. Just let it go already. Who cares if he says something stupid? In my opinion, half of what TO says is inspiring. His meltdown in San Francisco ended with calling Jeff Garcia gay. Have you seen the model Garcia has since married?
Inspiring, I tell you.
Plus, I really think TO means well and I am being serious about that. He knows he can make a difference, so when his team loses, he feels he could have done more if he would have been given the opportunity.
Sure, he is not good at expressing his concerns, but is that enough a reason to cut him? Did he really cause that much damage last year?
I say he didn't. I say the problem lies with two people and those people are offensive coordinator Jason Garrett and the quarterback. Both Garrett and Romo are considerably overrated. Romo can't win big games. Garrett calls too many passing plays and both Romo and Garrett try too hard to cater to Owens' ego because they are afraid of him or something.
All Romo or Garrett needed to do was tell TO to pipe down and get him the ball when the time was right. You don't build an offense around receivers. You build offenses around an entire game plan. Quality receivers just make executing that game plan more favorable. And that's what TO gives a team: more than favorable opportunities to succeed.
Once the Cowboys got Roy Williams, they didn't need all the plays with four receivers. They didn't need a spread attack. They didn't need to sling the rock around 50 times a game because for one, Romo is not good enough to do that. Troy Aikman, a much better quarterback for Dallas, never threw the ball that much. The biggest problem with Romo is that he turns the ball over like four times a game. I think I even saw him fumble and throw an interception on the same play last year. That can't be easy.
Before letting TO go, all the Cowboys were going to need to do this season was run a double-tightend, two wideout, singleback set with Marcellus Bennett and Jason Whitten at tightend, Roy Williams and TO at receiver and a platoon of Marion Barber III, Felix Jones and Tashard Choice at running back. I could have called the plays.
It would have looked something like this: run, run, run, run, draw run, run, play-action bootleg for a touchdown. Really simple stuff when you have great personal.
I mean, I used this very plan on XBox 360 and the Cowboys won five straight championships. And I don't just credit my offensive strategy. I think the real difference between the Cowboys on John Madden Football and the Cowboys in real life is that I am better at being Tony Romo than Romo is at being himself.
The only reason my above mentioned offensive plan would not have worked for the Cowboys this upcoming season has nothing to do with TO's personality. The Cowboy's missing link is a quarterback.
If there was too much damage between Romo and TO, Dallas should have traded Romo for a couple draft picks, shored up the offensive line and picked up a quarterback late in the draft.
Romo is a joke. He's got a good eye for attractive women and quality handle on life but has a terrible eye for open receivers and an even worse handle for the football. I have a gagging reflux that flares up when I see players fumble. And with Romo on the field, I usually never hold down my Sunday lunch.
Anyway, Dallas played the he said, she said game and sided with the younger, pretty boy in Romo and now TO is in Buffalo. The Bills will probably make the playoffs and I doubt seriously the Cowboys will do better than 8-8 this season.
Romo is about as useful as a blind and lame racing horse with arthritis and a fear for going too fast. The offensive line is aging and are usually flagged before the Boys' defense even gets off the field. Garrett's decisions are comparable to that of the government's. Roy Williams' supporting cast of receivers is now less than terrible. Dallas needs another corner, a defensive lineman and a safety. Oh, and the Cowboys do not have a first or third round pick. And and and and and, they just burned $9 million releasing one of the best receivers to ever play the game because he whines a little when the team loses?
I'm already looking forward to the Astros 2010 season.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Sports agent Scott Boras is friends with the Devil

I just read the first two sentences of sports agent Scott Boras' wikipedia page. He obviously wrote it himself because it did not say anything about his friendship with Satan. No doubt he is good at what he does. I mean, he always shows his clients the money. Well at least he used to. His own pathetic ego has burned so many bridges that teams don't even want to deal with him anymore. And another one of Satan's friends, Alex Rodriguez, fired Boras last year and gladly took a deal worth $100 million less than what Boras wanted to get A-Rod, who was already the highest paid player in the league.
In the recent Boras' saga, which is the issue I am blogging about today, has finally been put to rest. Manny Ramirez has finally signed with the Los Angeles Dodgers for basically the same terms he was offered four weeks ago. In recap for Ramirez, Boras instructed Manny to feel sorry for himself about the way the Red Sox were treating him last year. In doing so, Ramirez became increasingly unhappy. Then Boras instructs Manny to stop trying, forcing Boston to deal Ramirez to LA.
Basically, Boston saves money. Ramirez loses money by not finishing out his final two years with Boston, and he is now on a team less likely to win a championship. Then Boras tells Manny he will get him a four-year deal with a fifth-year option that was going to be worth around $120 million, but instead Ramirez has a two-year deal worth $45 million. Obviously we are splitting hairs and regardless of how things shaped up, Ramirez was and still is very rich. I just hope that Ramirez will do like A-Rod and dump Boras. I hope owners, just like LA's Frank McCourt, will continue busting Boras' chops, so that he is ultimately ran out of the league because he is the Don King of baseball. I also hope Boras is kicked by a clydesdale before he dies.

In football news, I would like to thank the Texans for getting rid of Sage Rosenfels. One of my buddies had a nervous breakdown after what he calls the Rosencopter took place against Indianapolis this past season. Rosenfels had a sure victory over the Colts, a victory that very well may have surged the Texans into the playoffs but instead Rosenfels engineered the most single greatest meltdown that sport has ever seen. Since Rosenfels was traded to Minnesota, my buddy has started eating three meals a day and no longer needs a bib. That being said, I have to sarcastically thank both Texas football franchises for signing quarterbacks from the 2008 Detroit Lions, which produced the first 0-16 season in NFL history. If you didn't know, the Cowboys signed Jon Kitna to backup Romo. Now we have two quarterbacks who can't win a playoff game. Good call. Meanwhile, the Texans signed Dan Orvloskinbauchensaucer, who couldn't hack it for a team that went 0-16! Excellent call.