Barry, Hank, Babe, me. But not necessarily in that order

Programming advisory:
I am on vacation and will not blog again until June 24th or 25th. Because of that sad news, I will leave you all with something I wrote a day or two after Barry Bonds tied Hank Aaron's home run record on Aug. 7, 2007.

I'm famous and going to the Hall of Fame:
I had no idea that Barry Bonds’ 755th home run was going to make me famous, but that is now the case. It might be hard for the simple minded to understand the connection between the pitcher, the ball, Bonds, Hank Aaron and myself, but the connection is there.
Clay Hensley from the San Diego Padres gave up No. 755 to Bonds in PETCO Park on Saturday. That homer tied Bonds with Aaron and will forever be remembered, thanks to me. More than likely, the ball, the moment and myself will find a way into Cooperstown. Perhaps I won’t be a first or second-ballot selection into the Hall of Fame, but I know my time will come.
The story that has led me to this sudden life of fame all started in 2002. I was at Lamar University where I recently graduated (yes it took me six years).
During Lamar’s 2002 baseball season, my freshman year, I tried walking on to the team because I wasn’t quite ready to hang up the dream. Unfortunately, I did not make the squad because I slightly tore my groin.
Some might believe there was also an issue of talent, but it’s me who is laughing now.
Before my injury and when I was younger, I toed the rubber at Vincent-Beck Stadium (Lamar Cardinals Baseball Stadium) where Hensley also pitched and played for a season.
Yes, Hensley and myself were practically teammates. Of course, he actually wore a jersey while I have just seen one and it is likely that he didn’t know who I was. To be honest, I didn’t know who he was until Saturday when he threw that infamous pitch, but now we are linked forever.
May 22, 2002, the day of my 19th birthday, Hensley set a new Lamar single-game and a Southland Conference Tournament single-game record by striking out 17 Texas-Arlington batters in a Cardinals’ 5-3 win.
Without a doubt, Hensley’s performance, on my birthday, (a future national holiday) landed him the eighth-round draft pick to the San Francisco Giants after that season.
Also that year, Hensley set a record for most strikeouts in a single-season for Lamar pitchers by striking out 127 batters. Looking back, I probably had a lot to do with his success.
I might add that more than one of Hensley’s actual teammates during his one year at Lamar, played high school baseball with me (I can think of two who are in the minors right now and would probably talk to me if no one else were around).
By 2004, I was serving as the sports editor for the University Press where I often covered the Cardinals baseball team and head coach Jim Gilligan, who by the way is a member of the Texas Baseball Hall of Fame. I wrote a story about his induction.
Needless to say, Hensley and I both referred to Gilligan as coach.
For those of you who are still not convinced that I am now the greatest figure in baseball history, this part of the story should really get you.
The overall editor for the University Press in 2004 went to high school in Pearland, Texas, which is where Hensley went to high school. I am not for sure about this but given my editor’s age and Hensley’s age, I can safely assume they went to high school at the same time, which means they were probably best of friends.
And when you consider that I worked with Hensley’s best friend, played golf with his best friend, went to Astros’ games with his best friend, I am practically part of the Hensley family now.
I’m sure some of you know, since it was so rudely pointed out, that Hensley tested positive for steroids while he was still in the minors a couple years ago.
Well I’ve never done steroids, but I know of the drug, which is just another example of how Barry and I are connected.
If Barry did steroids and since Hensley did steroids and since I know of steroids and since the record used to be Hank Aaron’s, the connections are obvious.
I tell you, this just all feels so good — to be a part of such an historical moment in this wonderful game is just absolutely wonderful.
Because when you really think about it, now that Hank and I will probably start hanging out and since Hank broke Babe Ruth’s record, you can pretty much put every great baseball player in the same sentence as me.
It’s funny how things like this work out but this is just too wild not to flaunt in front of everyone who is now less of a person than myself. I hope the people I see everyday will be able to continue to give me my space, though.
I don’t want this to change anything in my day-to-day life. I’m still going to put my pants on (two legs at a time) just like the rest of you. I’m still going to clock in at work and put my time in as if nothing has happened. I just ask for autograph seekers to call in advance. After all, I have a life and a job just like the rest of you. It's just that my life means more than yours now.

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Another programming message:
If you need a sports column, blogging fix between now and then or really ever, the Sports Guy on ESPN.com is always a good source. The late FireJoeMorgan.com was the best ever. I was sad to see that go. Most brilliant writers in American/World history pre 2050 A.D. But while they no longer post, the site is still up. It will be worth your time.

Please feel free to use the message board for your own needs and rants in regards to sports.
I will not be monitoring the blog for two weeks, however, so here are some ground rules.

Keep it clean.
No hitting below the belt.
No facemasks.
No pulling hair.
No hip checks.
No spitting on your screen (I'll know).
Always shake hands.
Watch the language (as in no cussing)!! — for real!